Monday, July 16, 2012


Draft-in-Process Peer Review: Cause and Effect
Writer: eathar
Peer Reviewer:waleed
Date: 7/13/2012
1.       What is the BEST part of the essay? Why?
first paragraph  because she has a nice paragraph and she used transition there
2.       Which method does this seem to use            3             
3.       Is the thesis                               
   indirect       
4.       Is the thesis clear and easy to read? Explain!
yes  because it in the end of introduction
5.       Do the topic sentences seem to logically explain the thesis?
yes , almost
6.       Does the writer use examples, explanations, facts or a mixture to develop his/her paragraphs
no she didn't have example in her paragraph but she has lot of information
7.       Is there enough support to show what makes the topic sentence “true”  Explain why or why not!
yes because she talked about advantages and disadvantages  and how many hours did we spend watching.
8.       Is the essay coherent, using the “devices” we talked about in class to help connect ideas together? Where could the essay use more coherence and where does it use it well.
yes she did
almost her essay coherent but it still need some comma and transition
-what is more interesting than watching a large families under TV lights
9.       Please underline any sentence that is confusing or doesn’t make sense.
i did
10.   Does the introduction provide an interesting “hook”? What makes it interesting? (think about the “types” we discussed.” Does it provide enough background information?
yes i think so
because she got lots of information there and the introduction explain the while paragraphs.
11.   In the space below, please explain your overall assessment of the paper. What are its strengths and what could it improve on?
i think she has a great essay and strong and anyone can understand her essay but she need to use comma and improve some sentence



TEACHER ASSESSMENT: I will be grading your feedback. I am looking for weather you try your best to provide 1) thorough and helpful feedback, and 2) that you show an understanding of the concepts discussed in class and that appear in this peer review form

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