Draft-in-Process Peer Review: Cause
and Effect
Writer: eathar
Peer Reviewer:waleed
Date: 7/13/2012
1. What
is the BEST part of the essay? Why?
first paragraph because she has a nice paragraph and she used transition there
2. Which
method does this seem to use 3
3. Is
the thesis
indirect
indirect
4. Is
the thesis clear and easy to read? Explain!
yes because it in the end of introduction
yes because it in the end of introduction
5. Do
the topic sentences seem to logically explain the thesis?
yes , almost
yes , almost
6. Does
the writer use examples, explanations, facts or a mixture to develop his/her
paragraphs
no she didn't have example in her paragraph but she has lot of information
no she didn't have example in her paragraph but she has lot of information
7. Is
there enough support to show what makes the topic sentence “true” Explain why or why not!
yes because she talked about advantages and disadvantages and how many hours did we spend watching.
yes because she talked about advantages and disadvantages and how many hours did we spend watching.
8. Is
the essay coherent, using the “devices” we talked about in class to help
connect ideas together? Where could the essay use more coherence and where does
it use it well.
yes she did
almost her essay coherent but it still need some comma and transition
-what is more interesting than watching a large families under TV lights
9. Please underline any sentence that is confusing or doesn’t make sense.
i did
yes she did
almost her essay coherent but it still need some comma and transition
-what is more interesting than watching a large families under TV lights
9. Please underline any sentence that is confusing or doesn’t make sense.
i did
10. Does
the introduction provide an interesting “hook”? What makes it interesting?
(think about the “types” we discussed.” Does it provide enough background
information?
yes i think so
because she got lots of information there and the introduction explain the while paragraphs.
yes i think so
because she got lots of information there and the introduction explain the while paragraphs.
11. In
the space below, please explain your overall assessment of the paper. What are
its strengths and what could it improve on?
i think she has a great essay and strong and anyone can understand her essay but she need to use comma and improve some sentence
i think she has a great essay and strong and anyone can understand her essay but she need to use comma and improve some sentence
TEACHER ASSESSMENT: I
will be grading your feedback. I am looking for weather you try your best to
provide 1) thorough and helpful feedback, and 2) that you show an understanding
of the concepts discussed in class and that appear in this peer review form
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